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Joke of the Day

"So I was nailing my girl from behind ... After we were done she turns to me and says. ""my friends tell me you are a pedophile."" To which I reply ""That is an awfully big word for a 10 year old"""

"Better than a Justin Bieber concert: 1. Being deaf. 2. A rattlesnake bite. 3. Chewing razor blades. 4. Licking a public toilet seat."

"The circles under my eyes are so dark, Animal Planet is following me around filming a documentary about a raccoon out of its natural habitat"

"Which fly makes films ? Stephen Speilbug !"

"What's the chilliest ground in the premiership? Cold Trafford!"

"funny how people who earn philosophy degrees probably at some point ask themselves ""why did i do this"""

"How do I know when your sister's on her period..... Your dad's dick taste like blood"

"somebody sell me a flock of sheep so i can give them cool superhero names like bahman, the green lambtern and wonder woolman"

"December 26th is the sad day where I have to take the Christmas tree behind the garage and shoot it"

"Did you hear about the argument between a fire and the sun? It got really heated."