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Joke of the Day

"somebody sell me a flock of sheep so i can give them cool superhero names like bahman, the green lambtern and wonder woolman"

"A guy in line next to me just asked me to hold his coffee and I'm like I'm not looking for anything serious right now."

"Where did Nicholas II of Russia get his coffee? Tsarbucks."

"I dance like people wish they weren't watching."

"Ohh, no thanks. I have seen a baby before"

"Unless you're telling me how to skip it in the future, your voicemail greeting wastes my time."

"I used to love John Deere and Massey Ferguson... but now I'm an ex-tractor fan."

"I like my women like I like my steak Dead"

"Why kind of cigarettes do Hawaiians smoke? Mahalo bro lights."

"Why can you never trust someone that needs to go to the toilet? Because they're full of shit"