103556

Joke of the Day

"I have a joke that will make you look stupid. Oh. I see you have already heard it."

"In South America, how many women get waxed per year? A Brazilian."

"My body is a temple... And it's devoted to Dionysus. Cheers."

"My husband just left town for a work trip. I didn't want him to miss out on anything so I made him a mixtape of the kids whining."

"""Sorry, I have to take this call."" ""That's a banana. And it's half eaten."" *covers banana with hand ""I don't tell you how to do business."""

"Life is like a box of chocolates The fatter you are the shorter it lasts"

"Calling them ""boobs"" is so immature. Please use the proper name, ""lovely lady lumps""."

"I don't care how funny you are, if I don't like you, I won't laugh."

"8 hrs sleep: So refreshed 6 hrs: Feeling fine 4 hrs: I will rip your head off for a minor transgression 2 hrs: Why is my boss a Minotaur"

"I went on to AA.com looking for help with my drinking problem, but somehow walked away with plane tickets to Oktoberfest."