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Joke of the Day
"In South America, how many women get waxed per year? A Brazilian."
Next Joke
"I just returned from a concert put on by the Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra... ... ... Half way through, the guy on the triangle disappeared."
"Jewish kid calls his dad from college... ...asking for fifty dollars. Dad responds: ""Forty dollars? What do you need thirty dollars for?"""
"I asked my wife what women really want, she said attentive lovers. Or maybe she said ""a tent of lovers."" I wasn't really listening."
"I like the phrase bury the hatchet because it implies someone was trying to resolve an argument with a fucking hatchet"
"Guy: Can I get your number? Me: I kill plants for fun"
"The hay in baby Jesus's manger came from Christian Bales."
"Kylo Ren: Hey, why is my paycheck so low? General Hux: Damages. Maybe you should stop throwing temper tantrums with your lightsaber."
"Why do single men live longer than married men? Because they want to."
"Doctor Doctor I dream there are monsters under my bed what can I do? Saw the legs off of your bed!"