103028

Joke of the Day

"[job interview] ""any questions?"" yeah is it Pets Mart or Pet Smart? ""ma'am this is a bank"" I know but you seem like a man with some answers"

"After a rough night, I woke up one morning and thought I should join Alcoholics Anonymous... I changed my mind though, because I am NOT a quitter."

"PayPal is spinning eBay off into its own company. After several years, PayPal finally got tired of living with a hoarder."

"If I worked at a pizza place I would use pepperoni to spell out ""Marry me?"" on pizzas all the time just to make things awkward for couples."

"what type of cancer do mimes get? Gesticular"

"I hope there will be a riot where I live... I really want to have an Xbox one and a new TV."

"If you're a guy who just had sex, what do you have? Happenis"

"I was shopping with my 4yo the other day... when he suddenly exclaimed infront of the hot cashier that ""Daddy has a penis!"" I was so embarrased. Big penis honey, big penis."

"A snake walks in to a bar... Barman says ""you can't do that""!"

"If you make $200 an hour you can't complain that your employer is fucking you Because $200 an hour is a very reasonable rate for getting fucked."