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Joke of the Day

"If you make $200 an hour you can't complain that your employer is fucking you Because $200 an hour is a very reasonable rate for getting fucked."

"gluten free cereal. I want to make a gluten free cereal and name it ""NO FUCKING WHEY!"""

"Statistically 60% of people use their mobile phone to cheat on their partners. Personally I prefer to use my pen!s."

"My mother's star sign was cancer. Ironic how she died, really. She died due to fatal injuries from a giant crab attack."

"Daddy! Daddy! I can't stop running in circles! Shut up son or I'll nail your other foot to the floor."

"I was expelled from school during pajama day. It's not my fault I sleep naked."

"There's a bizarre irony to jokes about Ebola going viral."

"On a scale of 1 - 10 where 10 is being up on technology and 1 is washing clothes by beating them on a rock, I'm about a 5."

"Where does Doctor Who go to get his salami?...The Dalek-atessan of course.:D"

"Did you hear about the kidnapping? They had to wake him up..."