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Joke of the Day

"Next time my cat has some friends over, I'm going to puke right next to where they are sitting and see how she likes it."

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Lego man: Is it because I'm block?"

"Did you fall from the sky? Not because you look like an angel but because your face looks like you fell from a really high place ;)."

"A young girl walks in on her dad peeing... The dad fumbles around trying to cover up. Then the girl says ""don't worry dad. I've seen one before. Mommy brushes her teeth with the neighbor's."""

"What's the difference between a hooker and a lawyer? The hooker will stop screwing you after you're dead."

"Make sure you always tip the people who make your pizza... They knead the dough."

"It's time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside."

"Wise Men Sea man came across a woman, there was a lot of cleaning up"

"Why was the Berlin Wall torn down? It didn't match with the Iron Curtains."

"100$ Bill 1st: Why are you late? 2nd: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. 1st: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? 2nd: No, I was standing on it."