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Joke of the Day

"What do a feminist and a policeman have in common? Q: What do a feminist and a policeman have in common? A: They're both trigger-happy."

"I wanna get HAMMERED tonight. Seriously? Yeah, drunk as hell, bro. Riiight. Of course, of course. *quietly slides hammer back into sleeve*"

"Just out of curiosity, does anyone here use RES? Because I'm really wishing that they'd changed the 'Hide Child Comments' button for the Chris Hansen AMA."

"What kind of tie does a pig wear ? Pig's tie !"

"Why does Kevin Bacon not get more leading roles in Hollywood? Because it's not kosher. http://36.media.tumblr.com/cb0ad7dd38767e0fc2363665afdb5cdd/tumblr_inline_ntae7hsEL21tw80r8_1280.jpg"

"A man is sitting at home when he hears someone knocking at the door Knock Knock Knock knock Knock knock knock Knock knock knock knock knock ""Who's there?"" ""Fibonacci"""

"How do you know when your sister is on her period? when your dad's dick tastes like blood"

"Sent a tweet with a typo. Deleted it and now I'm gonna be bummed about until mid June."

"Why don't blind men go skydiving? Because it scares the shit out of the dog!"

"Fred's class was taken to the Natural History Museum in New York. ""Did you enjoy yourself?"" asked her mother when she got home. ""Oh yes"" replied Fred. ""But it was funny going to a dead zoo."""