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Joke of the Day

"Why does a girl who uses chewing tobacco give the best head? Because she's knows what to spit and what to swallow."

"Why did the guy at the trainyard get struck by lightning? He was an excellent conductor"

"Do you know why they don't have 13th floors on most buildings? Apparently it's because most buildings aren't that tall. No, no that's fine I can show myself out . . ."

"Since the snow came, all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in."

"Funny shaped potato joke Q: What do you call a penis-shaped potato? A: A ""Dick-tatter""."

"Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? because she gets a frog in her throat at 69."

"When going through TSA inspection at the airport, there's no telling how long it will take... ... All belts are off ."

"Hipsters only listen to songs like Surfin' Bird by the Trashmen You've probably never heard of it."

"What's the difference between your mother and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking when I slap it"

"Talk to your kids about drugs. Talk to your stepdads about jazz. Like, just generally be polite and ask people about their interests."