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Joke of the Day

"I'm not one to give parenting advice, but kids are a lot less likely to fight you on eating dinner if you don't give them lunch or breakfast"

"There are 364 days until Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up. Unbelievable"

"Why was Aladdin disqualified from the Rio Olympics? He was on performance-enhancing rugs."

"No one will play my mix tape... They say it's a fire hazard."

"Damn you bladder stop releasing my precious beer."

"What do you call a spider from Baghdad? An Iraqnid."

"My daddy always warned me about the 3 rings of marriage: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering."

"Why does repost always get to the top?... Most people reddit before"

"I went for a run. I was out 2 minutes before I had to return because I forgot something... ...I forgot that I'm fat and can't run for more than 2 minutes"

"A doctor reaches into his pocket and finds his rectal thermometer He says ""Shit, some asshole took my pen!"""