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Joke of the Day

"I was sad to lose an arm wrestling match to a woman, but I felt better after I found out she was a man. Then sad again because we had sex."

"The 7 Habits of Highly Successful Nun Impersonators"

"She doesn't follow Newton's law I give her a stare but she doesn't give me an equal and opposite reaction"

"I choose which country to root for in the Olympics by what cuisine I'm hungry for at the moment. Go Italy! #gnocchi2014"

"My Boss thought that getting a vasectomy would keep his wife from getting pregnant. All it did was change the color of the baby."

"Why do men die before their wives? Because they want to."

"7yr old: The Tooth Fairy didn't come last night. *wipes tear* Me: Sorry sweetie, she probably got drunk and passed out on the couch."

"A classic Tommy Cooper gag ''I said to the Gym instructor ""Can you teach me to do the splits?'' He said, ''How flexible are you?'' I said, ''I can't make Tuesdays'', was fifth."

"A chicken and an egg are laying in bed. The chicken pulls out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, upset, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and says, ""I guess we answered that question!"""

"did you get the job? ""i don't know yet"" when will they tell you? interviewer: ""keith can you please ask your mum to wait in reception"""