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Joke of the Day
"A death metal song about an Excel spreadsheet not doing what I want."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I've never paid to have a garbanzo bean on my chest"
"""Make it two if you count my great personality - three if we include my charm! Hahahahaha oh um yes it's a table for one."""
"Its so cold In Massachusetts I just seen a democrat with his hands in his own pockets! ;)"
"Interviewer: why did you leave your last job? Me: hmm that's a tough one. I guess I'd probably have to say listening is my biggest strength"
"What is a horse's favourite wine? Equine."
"I like my women how I like my coffee... In a Styrofoam cup"
"Wife: He's your son! Me: So you say! But I don't... *Kid dances across the room to the Benny Hill theme song* Me: ...ok fine he's my son."
"The N word. What do you call a bus full of niggers under the ocean with 1 empty seat ? A crying shame"
"I hate being happy because it makes my tweets suck."