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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I've never paid to have a garbanzo bean on my chest"

"What do you get when you cross Paris Hilton with Iggy Azalea? A horribly depraved piece of human garbage."

"How are Oscar the Grouch and the Olympic Diving Pools in Rio de Janeiro similar? They're both green, smell like farts, and will stay that way for 47 years."

"""What time do I get off?"" has an entirely different meaning when you work in the sex industry."

"What do you call twin kittens? Dupli-cats"

"#1 thing not to say to a cop Those look like the handcuffs your wife used on me last night."

"Sex so bad, Taylor Swift breaks up with you and doesn't even write a song about it."

"I would put a web cam in my shower to make extra money, but I would hate having to only sing public domain songs."

"My roommate said he was going to quite masterbating I asked how that was going. He said, ""I don't know man I just haven't been feeling myself."""

"The cancellation of the Golden Girls must have been devastating to the shoulder pad industry."