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Joke of the Day

"[puts scarf on snowman] Girl: to keep u warm Snowman: I am made of snow. G: omg you're alive! S: ok but lets get past that. are you stupid"

"My ex-girlfriend always used to tell me I only think with my penis. A small part of me thinks she might have been right.."

"As far as my dog knows... ...dicks taste like peanut butter."

"A vampire walks into a bar and asks for for a cup of boiling water The bartender says to the vampire dont vampiers drink blood? the vampire pulls out a used tampon and say yes im making tea!"

"What's the difference between marmalade and jam? You can't marmalade your cock up a girls ass"

"Studies show that Alabama, Mississippi and Tennessee have an obesity rate of over 30%. Maybe they'll change their name from the Bible Belt to the Loosened Belt."

"So many Irish twins being born these days the numbers just keep Dublin up."

"bad feelings when others left home they are thinking: did i closed the window... did i closed the fridge...? when i left home: did i delete my history?"

"What sound does a frog make while jacking off? Rubbit Rubbit"

"What's the difference between my computer and Paul Walker? I don't give a shit about Paul Walker crashing."