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Joke of the Day

"My ex-girlfriend always used to tell me I only think with my penis. A small part of me thinks she might have been right.."

"i'm only a good advice giver from 11pm to 2am central time. any time besides that if you tell me anything i'll just go ""oh."""

"I've just left feedback for my second hand telescope I bought from eBay. Rubbish; 2 Stars."

"Weird when someone vanishes from your Facebook feed for 3 years then suddenly reemerges with the results of a ""Which Muppet Are You?"" quiz."

"What did one lesbian frog say to the other? We do taste like chicken."

"My mom accidentally killed my boyfriend this weekend. She didn't recognize him when she was canning pickles."

"My neighbors loved the music so much when I turned it up, that they invited the police to listen. :)"

"My doctor had to put me on a new medication that's supposed to help lower the amount of karate in my blood"

"Says the priest to the altar server: ""There's a good christian in you"""

"What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There was 20 of them"