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Joke of the Day

"I'm so good at making Chinese food, I can do it with my eyes closed."

"Why is ""Z"" afraid of all of the other letters? Because they're Not-Z's (*Nazis*)"

"What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? One goes... *WHACK*...""Dang it!"" And the other goes... ""Dang it!""...*WHACK*"

"What do you call a trailer park in a tornado? Wind chimes."

"Damn girl, are you sandpaper? Because I want you to rub my wood."

"My overnight bag is just a backpack full of Sour Patch Kids."

"One of my ongoing office fantasies involves a coworker walking by my desk while I'm actually working"

"My abs hurt today because last night I went to the gym and got punched in the stomach"

"""What would Jesus do?"" is an unfair question. He had superpowers. Your lifeboat is sinking. WWJD? Well, he'd get out and walk to shore. See?"

"I owe my love of bukkake all to my dad When I was a child, he really rubbed off on me."