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Joke of the Day

"I'm always two drinks away from digging up my backyard to look for dinosaur bones"

"Hillary and Trump crash in a plane, who survives? The United States"

"Politicians and dipers have one thing in common they should be changed regularly, and for the same reason"

"Alternate Lyrics: I kissed a Trans and I liked it. The taste of her hairy lap stick."

"Just saw myself naked in a full length mirror, and I had an epiphany. Either someone in my family tree had sex with the baboon or pissed off a gypsy."

"Wanna hear me read a receipt from a trip to the grocery store? That's how interested I am in listening to the details of your workout."

"I told the doctor I had to see him right away because I thought I was shrinking. He said he was busy and I'd just have to be a little patient."

"If alcohol kills germs and laughter is the best medicine, I'm the healthiest person on the planet."

"What's the difference between a Groupie and a Stalker? A penis."

"Your options when you want to backup your data... If you want to backup your data, you've got only 2 options. NAS or NSA."