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Joke of the Day

"Good news: It works the other way around. I entered ""internal bleeding"" & ""unconscious"" in WebMD and it said I have a stuffy nose. Phew."

"How to fall down the stairs Step 1 Step 2 Step 5 Step 9 Step 12 Floor."

"My new thesaurus is terrible! Not only that but it's also terrible."

"Do you know the 20th President of the United States ? No we were never introduced !"

"which place has more smoke in the air Mordor or The Shire."

"What would Matthew McConaughey eat if he were a horse? McConaugHAY"

"I love spending my Sundays sat watching the F1. My wife thinks I'm going f*cking mental though, just sitting there staring at the top left of my keyboard for several hours at a time."

"Vegetables What did the cucumber say to the cabbage when they got kidnapped by the tomato? Lettuce go"

"You know you're drunk when you sit down on the toilet & try to put your seatbelt on"

"I'm so happy I'm not as cool as you. Because then I'd be a huge fucking asshole."