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Joke of the Day

"Good news: It works the other way around. I entered ""internal bleeding"" & ""unconscious"" in WebMD and it said I have a stuffy nose. Phew."

"What do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison? A small medium at large"

"My friend and I decided to race our Ford Pintos. Mine broke down three miles down the road. I had to walk the rest of the way. I won."

"I once submitted 10 puns to a contest to see which one would win. No pun in 10 did."

"Hermione Granger: What can I wear that won't make me look fat? Ronald Weasley: An invisibility cloak"

"DJ Khaled has just declined a role in his upcoming biopic. When asked about his decision, he was quoted to have said ""never play yourself."""

"So a termite walks into a bar and asks ""Is the bar tender here?"""

"I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted, ""Oi, what's your disability?"" I said, ""Tourettes! Now fuck off!"""

"Redneck Divorce (Oh Boy) How is a redneck divorce like a hurricane in Florida? Either way you lose the trailer!"

"You're right, strange woman giving me your opinion on having tattoos. I regret them right now because they caused you to talk to me."