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Joke of the Day

"I almost bought a huge library out of old computer programming books... ...but the ascii price was way too high."

"Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? Nevermind he woke up!"

"ME: Too much turkey makes me so tired HER: Actually, it makes you sleepy, not tired ME: I'm getting real sleepy of your shit, Debra"

"What do you call a Japanese pirate? J-Peg."

"What is the difference between a woman and a terrorist? With a terrorist you can negotiate"

"Who sang at the funeral of those who died in a railroads arson? Adele. Some one set fire to the train"

"I asked my friend if drinking Metamucil because I love the taste of orange juice is weird She said, ""no... regular people do it all the time!"""

"Why can't you play UNO with Mexicans? They steal all the green cards."

"I just burnt 1200 calories... I forgot the pizza in the oven. : /"

"How did a Chinese spy disguise himself as an Arab in America? He became a Muslim."