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Joke of the Day

"Why does Donald Trump have a foreign wife? Because some jobs American's just won't do."

"What motivated Hercules to face off against Cerberus? Alcmene triple-dog-dared him."

"Every spiral staircase should sell a picture of you at the bottom showing how annoyed you looked walking down it."

"I was watching Jurassic park the other day, when I thought, ""Not only does my son have a stupid name, but he's also a shit driver""."

"Wow, I wish people were into politics as much as they're into sports. *meets someone who's really into politics* Wow, I wish I was dead."

"Passionate kiss is like spider web leads to undoing of fly."

"Me: guess who i saw today? Batman: who? M: not your parents B: Y do you always do this? M: cause they told me to B: who? M: not your parents"

"God...= I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."

"Have you heard Julian Assange never spends more than 20 seconds in the restroom? Yeah, he's infamous for his quickieleaks."

"Doctor: Did you take those pills I gave you last month? Me: The package said ""Take on an empty stomach"" so, not yet."