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Joke of the Day

"Wow, I wish people were into politics as much as they're into sports. *meets someone who's really into politics* Wow, I wish I was dead."

"Knock knock Who's there Olivia Olivia who? Olivia, so let me in my bloody house!"

"why doctorates are better then MBBS, the pee HD"

"People always call me unattractive until they see my wallet... then they call me poor too."

"Confucius says... ""He who goes to bed with an itchy butt, wakes up with chicken fingers!"""

"Tired of being single? Just lower your standards a bit. My new girlfriend is a coconut taped to a mop."

"Did you hear about the crazy train that went on a killing spree? Authorities believe it had a loco motive."

"I wrote a poem about the NFL It has 32 offensive lines."

"Parkinson's Disease was named after its discoverer, Dr. Timothy Disease."

"[coming out of coma] Doc: You survived the heart attack Me: I'm going to eat right & get fit D: *shows me hospital bill* M: *pulls plug*"