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Joke of the Day

"Every spiral staircase should sell a picture of you at the bottom showing how annoyed you looked walking down it."

"What's a magician's favorite Mexican dish? TosTADA!"

"I'd like to take a moment to thank everyone who took time out of her or his busy schedule to tell me, ""omg you look like hell."""

"if you ask an undercover cop what the hills are alive with, he legally has to say ""the sound of music"" or else it's von trappment"

"There's two things I can't stand in this world: people intolerant of other's cultures... and the Dutch."

"What's blue and smells like red paint? blue paint"

"How do you fit an elephant into a Safeway bag? Take the ""f"" out of the word ""way"". (get it yet...?)"

"I just watched the girl next to me google ""lack toast and tolerant symptoms"" Symptoms: you have no toast but it's totally tolerable."

"Take me down to the gentrified city where the grass is green and the girls can't even"

"Where does an 800 pound gorilla sleep? With the fishes."