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Joke of the Day

"Wanna hear a zoophile joke? So, this guy gets into a bar."

"Do you know the meaning ""Happy wife, happy life""? I tend to go with ""Happy wife, extended life."""

"Some people say that The Big Bang Theory disproves God... I mean, sure, it's not the best show, but I wouldn't go *that* far."

"I am the all knowing oracle, you may ask me one question ""How do you pronounce quinoa?"" [it's just covered in sweat] um can u ask me another"

"Strip clubs should make the strippers wear garlic scented perfumes so when I come home I can tell my gf I was at an Italian restaurant."

"Girl told me she worked with special needs students. I asked her ""you workin hard? Or tardly workin?"". She got mad."

"How's it hanging? directly below the point of suspension"

"Muffins. So there are two muffins in an oven. One says to the other, ""Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?"" And the second one says, ""Holy shit, a talking muffin!"""

"Teacher: Why can't you ever answer any of my questions ? Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me being here !"

"I am taking a shot for every ""like"" I get on this status. Then again, I'm taking shots whether you bastards like it or not."