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Joke of the Day

"I am taking a shot for every ""like"" I get on this status. Then again, I'm taking shots whether you bastards like it or not."

"I play a song, nobody likes it. One week later, every cunt likes it."

"BANK: Someone made fraudulent charges w/ ur debit card ME: How'd you know it wasn't me B: They entered the PIN correctly 1st try M: Dear god"

"What gave the blonde a stomach ache? Nivea milk."

"If I'm ever arrested, I would use my one phone call for pizza."

"What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? See ya next month."

"Two condoms are walking down the street... ...they pass a gay bar and one turns to the other and says, ""wanna go in there and get shitfaced?"""

"Is it safe to visit the forests of Germany? I heard there could be a baum."

"Something hit me at high frequency today It really hertz."

"Don't forget to tell everyone how you love Fridays because we were all wondering how you feel about them."