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Joke of the Day

"How's it hanging? directly below the point of suspension"

"What's the difference between a magic show and a strip show? A magic show is full of **cunning stunts**"

"Kanye West said being a rapper is like being a soldier or a cop but hey at least he didn't compare himself to Jesus. Oh wait."

"A poll showed that North Korea is the happiest nation in the world! 100% of citizens reported being happy!"

"Sometimes i flirt and i feel really akward. Idk if the people around me are gonna hate more for it. I have this rly weird feeling in my stomach and sometimes idk why. Oh wait not flirt. I ment fart"

"I got fired from my job at the Orange Juice factory They said I couldn't concentrate"

"Sponsor a Child I was thinking of sponsoring a child in Africa. But him being so far away, how could I be sure he actually completed the Fun Run?"

"FRIEND:i suffer badly with insomnia ME:what's that FRIEND:it's where you can't sleep ME:you just*lays down*just like this *falls asleep*see?"

"Grammar died so that Twitter could live."

"What is the difference between my dad and cancer? Cancer came back"