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Joke of the Day

"I am the all knowing oracle, you may ask me one question ""How do you pronounce quinoa?"" [it's just covered in sweat] um can u ask me another"

"A pirate walks into a brothel and says... ""ARG! THERE SHE BLOWS!"" Edit: Wow 8 views. thanks guys :D"

"He orders a beer and a shot of whiskey. A time traveler walks into a bar."

"Why are schools red? You would be too if you had 7 periods a day."

"How do you get someone with a doctorate in philosophy to leave your house? Just pay for your pizza."

"You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice."

"My friends recently got some copy of his grandfather's auschwitz diaries. They're a little brief though. Day 1: Showers"

"Yo momma so fat... ...she's the third rock from the sun!"

"Cops think i am worth the chase...apparently."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? one's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean"