98914

Joke of the Day

"Have you ever noticed that in a pack of biscuits there are always broken ones? I don't know why they even bother putting them in."

"police codes 472: loitering 213: man with horse eyes 304: gnarly dirtbike 94: breaking & entering 834: dog smoking weed 58: sexy loitering"

"What is the worst city to be a cop in? Baltimore, I hear it's backbreaking work."

"What did Cinderalla do when she got to the ball? She gagged."

"*opens up briefcase in court, revealing snakes* ""Wait. Then that means-"" [cut to my nemesis waking up surrounded by my opening statement]"

"Ever hear about the Mexican Train Killer? I heard he had locomotives."

"How does a sociopath say goodbye? Manip-ya-later!"

"I told my GF that I'm jealous of her V-J. She shows me NO pity, though. She just rubs it in my face"

"A spider crawled on my son's hand today. I did what any father would do. I mean, Luke Skywalker seems like a productive member of society."

"""OEDIPUS!"" Oedipus' mother screamed. ""I'M COMING!"" Oedipus screamed back. ""So soon?"""