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Joke of the Day

"""OEDIPUS!"" Oedipus' mother screamed. ""I'M COMING!"" Oedipus screamed back. ""So soon?"""

"Did you guys ever hear the peanut butter joke? Actually nevermind. It may spread"

"""Getting fat"" is absolutely a legitimate response to ""what have you been up to?"""

"When I was a kid, I got really upset when my mom started buying Dove body wash. I just couldn't understand why they would make soap out of such majestic birds."

"Do not use the word ""ghetto"" indiscriminately unless referring to that booty there. Daaaaamn!"

"Every time Guy Fieri forgets to call it ""Hotlanta"" Chester Cheetah magically appears to remove one flame from his shirt."

"I'am looking for a bank loan which can perform two things Give me a Loan and then leave me Alone"

"one small step for man one giant step for a really small man"

"What if Aliens don't want to visit us because they're all women and they want us to make the first move."

"I can never find my cars keys but I won't forget that time you checked out another woman at the mall four years ago."