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Joke of the Day

"How does a sociopath say goodbye? Manip-ya-later!"

"My child: Mom, there's a monster under my bed. Me: ""That's impossible, they're all running for president right now."""

"I just finished my exam on communism I really hope I get good Marx"

"""Cheese cannon!"" ""Terminator eyes!"" ""Solar powered cat translator!"" I'm the reason genies limit you to 3 wishes."

"Why did the headless chicken cross the road? Cause he was supposed to be-headed to the other side"

"I am proud to annouce my discovery of Forrest Fenn's Treasure!!! It took SO long. Now I must follow the clues and locate the box."

"I didn't know that numbers were Irish until I started telling time."

"I called the Paranoia Hotline: This guy answered and said, ""How the hell did you get this number?"""

"I like my coffee like I like my slaves.... Free!"

"What did the Melon King say to the two young melons in love? They can't-elope."