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Joke of the Day

"Two Irish guys walk out of a bar."

"Do you know what ""relative humidity"" is? It's that little drop of sweat that forms on the tip of your nose when you're fucking your cousin."

"I tweeted about Darth Vader wearing Depends earlier. Since then, two Vaders and have ""followed"" me. I'm getting choked tonite. Help."

"911: Sir, I understand you think it did it against your will and was aggressive but we can't arrest an auto flush toilet. Me: I WASNT READY"

"I hope this free massage guy from craigslist is on time."

"Whats the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? ...I don't pay 100$ to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Pillow fights didn't last as long in the Stone Age."

"Why does Mexico rarely wins medals at the olympic games? All the ones who can run/swim/jump already made it to America."

"What kind of milk do the wealthiest people in the world give to their children? 1%"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bark ! Bark who ? Bark you car on the drive !"