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Joke of the Day

"What kind of milk do the wealthiest people in the world give to their children? 1%"

"a goddess makes a six second video da vine"

"The Jewish Year is 5776. As of yesterday, the Chinese year is 4714... That means Jews had to exist for 1,062 years without Chinese Food. They call this time, ""The Dark Age."""

"To all those people who said I would be an unfit parent, have you seen the little guy lately? Cause that would be a big help, I seem to have misplaced him."

"Lion King is my favourite movie about an innocent baby animal. Being framed for murder."

"Attention crazy man on the subway: this is God. Please start telling everyone else in the car what I'm saying to you."

"Just had a water fight over the park with a bunch of local kids... I won!! No one's a match for me and my kettle."

"So I went to the mattress store and tried laying on one of the Temper-Pedic mattresses. I was impressed."

"People admit to shopping for their girlfriends/wives all the time... but when I do it I get busted for ~~prostitution~~ human trafficking."

"Women who build walls around yourselves, please consider putting in a gloryhole."