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Joke of the Day

"Do you know what ""relative humidity"" is? It's that little drop of sweat that forms on the tip of your nose when you're fucking your cousin."

"There is a new drink at my bar. It's called a Sandy. It's basically a watered down Manhattan."

"Wet T-shirt contestant asks former contest winner: Any pointers?"

"What is the worst part about being a black jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven."

"What followed the Big Bang? The Big Cigarette"

"It's always a shame when people die so young... there's just so many things they'll never get to Chekov their bucket list."

"The chameleon couldn't change colors when the time was right... I guess he had a reptile dysfunction."

"My daughter bought a new mattress for when she goes off to school, but was undecided about whether to keep it. I told her to sleep on it."

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was the S'mores of Pop-Tarts, it was the Unfrosted Strawberry of Pop-Tarts."

"What does P.E.T.A. stand for? People Eating Tasty Animals !"