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Joke of the Day

"GUY 1: I beat cancer GUY 2: I backpacked thru Europe GUY 1: So what? GUY 2: And I didn't tell anyone about it when I got back GUY 1: You win"

"[NSFW]My uncle said I have the body of a seven year old... ...I told him to stay away from my freezer."

"""any questions for Mr. deGrasse Tyson?"" [I knock over an old woman while sprinting to the mic] HOW DOES AIR CONDITIONING WORK IN SPACE?"

"What animal has the tendency to be a half-ass A mule"

"What do you get when you mix a black man with microwave chicken? (May be offensive) Mike Tyson"

"I've got washboard abs. As soon as I can find someone with clay-jug abs and someone with jews-harp abs, we can get started on our old-timey-hobo-band abs."

"A warning to prisoners of the Matrix Snitches get glitches"

"There are 10 types of people in the world Those who know binary, those who don't, and those who weren't expecting this joke to be in ternary"

"What's the difference between fishing and dating? In one you don't want to jerk the hook, but in the other you don't want to hook the jerk."

"Comas make a big difference in a sentence. For example, Ben is in a hurry. Ben is in a coma."