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Joke of the Day

"A warning to prisoners of the Matrix Snitches get glitches"

"How about a Home Alone movie where Macaulay Culkin is the dad and he leaves his kids at home because that's all he knows?"

"Ugly Joke You're so ugly that you make ropes hang them self so they dont have to look at you"

"I'm dating an x-ray technician... But I don't know what she sees in me."

"I like my coffee like I like my men Black and shot twice"

"How did the Pianist play without fingers? Not very well at all..."

"Me: *singing ""Don't stop believing""* Joe: What are you doing? Me: Practicing for Journey duty J: You mean Jury duty? M: No, it says...shit"

"What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing. You can't cross a vector with a scalar."

"What did the buddhist monk say when he was asked if he was leaving? Na 'ma stay. (namaste) Grandfather joke at Easter dinner last sunday. Sorry."

"A little bird told me I'm on LSD and talking to a bird."