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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a mentally challenged feather pillow? A downs pillow."
Next Joke
"What is purple, blue, and white and spits out dad jokes? Reddit"
"Jesus christ, guys! Can we stop arguing about politics for ONE second and change subject to something more lighthearted? So what are your guys' thoughts on abortion?"
"What do you call a beach where you go to shoot gorillas and break Islamic law? Haram Bay"
"I want this Twitter account to outlive me by 100 years. I want my grandchildren to read my Tweets and say, ""Holy fuck. She was so weird."""
"On a scale of 1 to Charlie Sheen, I'm at Mel Gibson drunk right now."
"How do government employees wink when they're at work? They briefly open one eye."
"The KKK was started by some dork who wanted to wear robes and call himself a wizard and his dad was like ""Ok but only if you're racist too."""
"What's a 90's kid's favorite salad? Quinoa & Kale"
"What did the urologist say to his patient who forgot to take his medication? Urine trouble!"