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Joke of the Day

"How do government employees wink when they're at work? They briefly open one eye."

"If stray cats are free, why is Chinese food so expensive?"

"Do you have something against black people?!?!!? Yes, an alarm system."

"TIFU by pooping on my girlfriend Sorry for the shit post"

"I messed up my foot pretty bad. The doctors said it would take a while to heel."

"My greatest fear is that I'll be reported as a missing person and my family guesstimates my weight way higher than what I actually weigh"

"Dicaprio finally won an Oscar!!! Sorry wrong sub..."

"My wife told me she would leave me if I didn't stop cheating on her Damn, I never thought she took a card game this seriously."

"My son, who is 10, just explained that the things he did when he was 7 no longer reflect the person that he is now. I need a drink."

"What do Philadelphia Eagles fans do after they win the superbowl? Turn of madden and go to bed. (I'm an eagles fan)"