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Joke of the Day

"*unzips jeep window* boy i sure am glad i bought this dumb horseshit *zips jeep window back up*"

"How can you tell if your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick tastes funny."

"Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine? He fell in love with a pincushion! "

"I had a vasectomy today, and my wife keeps asking how I feel... I've had to tell her over and over that it's not that bad, and that I don't notice much of a vas deferens."

"All carpentry tool names were created by someone in desperate need of sex."

"Why did the engineer buy a mattress? To sleep under it"

"What's the worst part of... About locking your keys in your car outside the abortion clinic? Going in to ask for at coat hanger."

"What did the baby seal order for lunch? The club sandwich."

"I'm selling a used French rifle Never been fired, only dropped once."

"What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer."