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Joke of the Day

"I hate having to brush my teeth every morning. I must be the only person in the world with hairy teeth."

"They said to get in touch with my feminine side. So I did, and my next paycheck was 22% less."

"What do you call a dog that is also a magician? A Labracadabrador."

"Whats the difference between pizza and your opinion? I only asked for pizza."

"Being bald It means you went back to your roots."

"*interrupts eulogy* SOMEONE SAID THAT ALMOST WORD FOR WORD AT THE LAST FUNERAL"

"the scientific term for a group of cats gathered together in the wild is ""assholes"""

"Huge bowls of cereal are the parentheses to my night's sleep."

"What do you call a sick bird from Mars? An ill Eagle alien. Original joke created for my 5 year old."

"How do you know that a dog is a man's best friend? Take your girl and your dog, and lock them in the back of a car, return in 5 hours, which one do you think will be happy to see you?"