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Joke of the Day

"Birds sure seem pretty stupid until you see pigeon shit on a Hummer."

"I saw a blind person skydiving today Man, what a jerk. Scaring his poor dog like that..."

"Just realized the girl I flipped off in the parking lot is in my next class.. This could be awkward."

"There was a Muslim guy who I went to high school with who was always late we called him 9/12"

"What do you call an Irishman passed out on your deck? Paddy O'Furniture"

"Hi, I'm bisexual. I'd like to BUY you a drink...and then get sexual."

"I went for a job interview as a blacksmith yesterday. He said, ""Have you ever shoed a horse?"" I said, ""No, but I've told a donkey to fuck off."""

"My Grandmother recently passed away and left me everything in her will. I guess you could say that I'm Grammy nominated."

"Do you think the husband of the GPS lady listens to her directions?"

"So I shot my first turkey for thanksgiving today... It scared the hell out of the people in the frozen foods section though."