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Joke of the Day

"""Keep that upside-down frown right where it is!"" - Botox Patient Saying"

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"A chef accidentally put yeast in his broth The result was soup rising"
"Way to greet me with a headache, Friday. Who died and made you an asshole? You think you're Monday or something?"
"How do you make a Sea Lion? You remove an electron from a Seal!"
"Why didnt Jesus become a boxer? Crosses killed him."
"I went clubbing last night I saw girls twerking in a bun dance."
"I just googled: how to deal with low frustration tolerance. In the first article, in the first paragraph, I yell at the screen, ""WELL THIS IS JUST FUCKING STUPID!"" True story."
"Chuck Norris uses pens on Scantron sheets."
"What's the highest thing in existence? A female's issues. They won't ever be able to get over them."
"Everyone has that psycho ex we pray we'll never run into again. If you don't you're probably it."