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Joke of the Day

"Come forth. And the Lord said unto John, come forth and receive eternal life. But John came fifth and won a toaster."

"Who should we vote for the next president? Gabe Newell. There will never be a World War 3."

"Customer: Why do you own a hot dog stand when you draw and write? Me: Wanna buy my book? Them: No. Me: That's why I own a hot dog stand."

"What does a ship say when it is cold? Shiver me timbers!"

"Calling Sony comments""racially insensitive remarks"" instead of ""racist""? U can put a cherry on a pile of sh*t but it don't make it a sundae."

"I can't argue with your love for bananas They have a peel..."

"Why is the ice planet in Star Wars called ""Hoth""...? ...shouldn't it be ""Coldth""?"

"What does a sperm and a politician have in common? They both have a one in 100 million chance of being human."

"I went for a job as a stunt double, I stubbed my toe on my way out the door. As soon as I stopped crying, I went to the interview. Bravery."

"""Hello, is this anonymous NSA hotline?"" ""Yes, David, how can we help you?"""