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Joke of the Day

"""Hello, is this anonymous NSA hotline?"" ""Yes, David, how can we help you?"""

"Black Betty walked into a butcher shop and asked for beef. The butcher replied, ""No Black Betty, Ham or Lamb?"""

"Wife: you're so damn forgetful! M: oh nonsense! W: ok, did you get the cat food? M: WE HAVE A CAT??"

"There's a new hair salon opening in Mordor! Appointment only, no walk-ins."

"Egg puns pls Thought this was an eggcellent idea..."

"What do dads never forget to include in their ""dad"" jokes? PUNctuation Okay, I'll leave."

"Thanks to ChristianMingle, I met the woman I will put through a terrifying emotional rollercoaster before I finally come out of the closet."

"The Biggest Joke Ever Team Fortress 2 competitive matchmaking."

"I lost my job at the hospital today for sexual assault.... It's not my fault that they put up a sign that said, 'stroke patients downstairs'."

"I bring my Epipen everywhere It's my greatest treasure. I think my friend really wanted me to have it. He gave it to me right before he died."