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Joke of the Day

"Why did the dyslexic, Russian astronomer hate the revolution? He was following the Tsar."

"Your mama so fat that NASA thought they found a new planet Dad stop it."

"What did father bee say to his rebelling son? Beehive!"

"Whats brown and sticky? A stick."

"Q: Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? A: He wanted to see time fly."

"""Hi doc!"" ""Hi! What is that behind your ear?"" ""Nice try, too old for the coin trick"" ""No it's a tumor"" ""Oh my god"" ""Kidding it's a quarter"""

"In retrospect, the kidnapping was going according to plan until I blew my nose on the rag I'd soaked with chloroform."

"What do Coors Light and sex in a canoe have in common? They're both fucking close to water."

"Oh com'on Kim Jong everyone has a ""funny uncle"" in the family....don't you think the firing squad was a little harsh???"

"Thought for today: Each day is a gift from God ... but not Monday, it was regifted by Satan."