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Joke of the Day

"Whats brown and sticky? A stick."

"mirrors can't talk. and lucky for you, they can't laugh."

"Studies show 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of our population."

"*Giving TED talk* Me: *points at guy* sir, reach under your chair! *he does and a mousetrap snaps* Me: trust no one *audience claps*"

"When is the best time to make jokes? When you are ill, because they are sick"

"Why did Mario lose a life? He stubbed his MiyamoToe. ...I'll see my way out."

"Panties are just overpriced wrapping paper."

"I found girl lying on railroad tracks. I untied her, took her into bushes and we had great sex. No head, though. I never found it."

"Dad got me the other day... Me: I can't sleep... I'm just going to stay up for a bit... Dad: What do you mean you can't sleep? It's so easy I could do it with my eyes close! Me: *walks away*"

"What's the difference between an elevator and a redditor? An elevator has a GF"