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Joke of the Day

"I found an old unframed oil painting in my loft yesterday of a beautiful naked lady so i mounted it"

"Why did the chicken not cross the road? to not get to the other side."

"The average person has sex 90 times a year. Man this going to be an epic new years eve!"

"It's cute that the NRA thinks guns could defend you from a government that has a high fructose corn syrup nozzle up every citizens' asshole."

"What do gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? They can both smell it but can't eat it."

"FUCK YEAH I GOT A CRIMINAL RECORD *smooth criminal blasts an i bust out sick mj moves* ""congrats sir u are now manager of this kfc/taco bell"

"What floats on water and goes quick? A South African duck"

"Three People Killed at Colorado Abortion Clinic Sounds like a slow day to me"

"A priest, a rabbi and a leprechaun walk into a bar... ... but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative Bill Bailey."

"What kind of khakis do birds wear? Khakaws!"