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Joke of the Day

"Clerk Kent is in fact Superman... So my mom tells me stop hanging with your friends who are always drunk! They are not a good company! How should i tell her that... ""Clark Kent is in fact Superman"""

"I once told my dad: ""I feel there are a good and a bad wolf in me fighting for control. But which one will win in the end?"" He said: ""The one you feed."""

"I'm sorry I dropped your baby and doubly sorry I nudged it under the crib with my foot so you wouldn't notice."

"Oral sex caused Michael Douglas's throat cancer; Surgeon General orders that vaginas be tattooed with cancer warning."

"Could you imagine being the Secret Service agent that blocked a bullet for Donald Trump, 20 years later? You wouldn't tell anyone."

"EA cut so many corners with the Sims 4 that they made a circle."

"I named my daughter Dagstorp after where she was conceived (Ikea sofa)"

"A Prius just tried to race me from a stop sign. I totally had it for the first 100 feet... But I can only walk so fast."

"Dance like you won't be turned into a gif."

"How does a Scotsman find a sheep in tall grass? Very Satisfying"