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Joke of the Day
"How do you know if a woman uses a vibrator when pregnant The kid stutters"
Next Joke
"My New Year's resolution is to stop eating so much candy, so I can focus more on cookies."
"Whoever called it rush hour should not be allowed to name anything else."
"Thinking of leaving a fake bloody arm inside the blood pressure machine at this CVS pharmacy."
"A portmanteau is when you combine 2 words to make 1 word. A great example of this is Groupon, a mixture of grey and poupon."
"[At supermarket] ""Excuse me do you work here?"" WHAT? ME? Work HERE? Hell no. I went to college. I don't have a job"
"How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce ""unionized""."
"Accidently played dad instead of dead when I encountered a bear. Now it can ride a bike without training wheels."
"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity I just can't put it down"
"I am motherfucking sick of the motherfucking delays on this motherfucking train!"