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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a zoo. All he sees is a dog. What kind of zoo is it? A shit-zoo."

"Purse snatching is a great way to make some extra money while getting in some cardio."

"I'm worried about Rosemary's Baby. Everyone knows Thyme has been hard on her. (That's right. I do spice jokes. Dill with it.)"

"Trump has a tower? Well Bernie has his towers too. The Twin Towers... They felt the Bern."

"Why don't Italians like Jehovah's Wittness? They don't like any witnesses."

"When someone yells ""Fire!"" at my house, I'll be the first to leap from the toilet and fall flat on my face because my legs fell asleep"

"I asked my wife what women really want and she said attentive lovers. ...Or maybe she said ""a tent of lovers."" I wasn't really listening..."

"I masticate at least three times a day, usually at my computer Damn sticky keys!"

"Why doesn't the Kentucky Fried Chicken use toilet paper? It's finger licking good."

"Sex Ed should require them to listen to a crying baby for 5 hours, and to watch the same episode of a cartoon over and over again."