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Joke of the Day
"The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza place and says 'Make me one with everything'."
Next Joke
"Me: ""You kids aren't getting any more toys until you take care of the ones you have!"" Grandma: ""Here are 8,000 new toys just for existing."""
"""haha this costume party is great"" ""sir PLEASE get off the table"" ""cool librarian costume"" *sprays silly string* ""hey dude nice police costu"
"I phoned the local gym... and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, 'How flexible are you?' I said, 'I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays.'"
"Is it strange how saying sentences backwards creates backwards sentences saying how strange it is?"
"What do you a white convict stuck between two black convicts? An Oreo crookie"
"Nervous about speaking in front of a crowd of people? Imagine everyone is wearing an Ed Hardy shirt"
"Just had an interview with a girl with a lazy eye. So I just had an interview with a girl with a lazy eye....didn't know what eye to look at.....so I just stared at her tits."
"Considering we've produced Miley Cyrus and Kanye West, I'm more surprised other countries haven't built a wall around the U.S."
"A man's got to know his limitations. Unless he's in a relationship, then he'll be constantly reminded."