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Joke of the Day

"Nervous about speaking in front of a crowd of people? Imagine everyone is wearing an Ed Hardy shirt"

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"What did Hagrid say to Harry Potter after Harry had a mishap with some potions? ""You're a lizard Harry!"""
"Hey baby are you a basic bitch? Cause you're alkafine!"
"[God Creating Raccoons] God: make a panda but a trash panda, then give it a mask so that people would know it will kill them for their food"
"A Galaxy Phone, an iPhone and a windows phone fall out a top story window. The galaxy phone bounces with minor cracks. The iPhone smashes into dozens of pieces. The windows phone freezes mid decent."
"What do you get when you cross a lawnmower and a canary? Shredded tweet."
"Why can't the Americans play chess? Because they're missing two towers."
"They call it ""PMS"" because... Mad Cow Disease was already taken."
"What do you call a black guy who flies airplanes? A pilot, you racist."
"What's grandma's favorite seasoning? Old Bae"
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